The teacher in India always said: “When the road ends and the goal is gained, the pilgrim finds that he has traveled only from himself to himself, that the way was long and lonesome, but the God that led him unto it was all the while in him, around him, with him, and beside him.”
At a distinct point in my career, I took a very large detour. Perhaps you can relate.
I became determined to make a lot of money and was convinced that playing the piano professionally and teaching meditation for practically free was not the answer. Afterall, at that point, it had not shown any signs of taking me to the level I saw myself living in the future.
I have never given up my passions…I just added a “little endeavor on the side” that promised massive residual income. It wasn’t in my area of expertise, in fact, it was such a stark contrast to what I was doing that many cocked their heads in wonder.
For seven grueling years, I would juggle not only my classical piano performing, recording and teaching schedule, council meditation students, facilitate a Monday night class and run week long retreats, but also devote myself to creating a new income stream to make millions on the side.
I began to learn the ins and outs of sales. I learned to network. On the daily, I picked up the phone when I didn’t want to. I persisted through rejection after rejection and conquered the art of perseverance. I learned to keep going in the face of huge failure. I created the disciplined habit of doing money making activities. I perfected leadership skills, read a book a week on leadership in business, deferred my personal life to serve the team, taught my people how to use a system and to follow through. I, myself, followed through even when it was painful and everything in my body said no. I became a machine of production. I was a fountain of inspiration to individuals and groups. I learned public speaking. I cried through no shows. I deferred instant gratification. I modeled the behavior I wanted my team to mimic. I was a perfect network marketer and I was really good at it.
I had imbibed a kool-aid I never thought possible and I learned to never quit…..
one day on a weekend vacation on the coast of Oregon after reading Steven Pressfield’s Turning Pro and right in the middle of Marie Forleo’s B- school, I suddenly stopped, dead in my tracks, like a deer in the headlights, with my finger in a socket, frozen in suspended animation where everything went silent.
I blinked and I blinked; my eyes filling with tears that welled up so deep inside of me that I began to drown in something beyond comprehension. The dam of self pity, exhaustion, remorse, disgust, failure, determination, desire, longing, and unhappiness broke.
I have never looked back.
I realized that I had been using brute strength and force to do something that wasn’t me. I was making my way to financial success but I was sick and tired literally with Epstein Barr virus (I would come to learn a few months later).
I wasn’t having fun. I was cringing at having to sell a product that wasn’t me.
I was under the illusion that you have to work very very hard to make lots of money.
It suddenly became clear that I needed to do business in my area of expertise in order to live my success. I had been embodying the false belief that I could never make good money at art or spirituality. Afterall, artists and gurus are all poor.
What if I could follow my bliss and make good money instead of doing some other job that wasn’t me?
I am reminded of the story The Treasure that I used to read to all three of my children, in which a man goes searching for his fortune only to return home and find it buried in his own house.
I am coming up on the first anniversary of that decision in a few weeks.
In that time, I have written an ebook, recorded a new CD, acquired international clients, filled multiple local classes, created an incredible body of spiritual blogs, booked speaking engagements on the subject I know best, raised my prices to match my worth, bought two pieces of investment property, and tripled my income….all working 25 hours a week. This was the exponential growth for which I had been searching.
Now, I soar through my days. I love every minute of my writing, my course creation, my website maintenance, my piano practice, my one on ones and my spiritual service to others. I take time when I want. I don’t feel like I am working because I am in divine alignment.
I have applied every valuable lesson I learned in network marketing to my music and spiritual teaching to provide the abundance I deserve.
It is better than chocolate and peanut butter.
I feel a deeper respect for myself. I do self care. I have energy for luscious sex. I travel. I am being compensated on every level like I never imagined.
My heart is bursting with love,
and I would never have understood this if I hadn’t taken that detour.
All My Love,